2025 is almost over. Looking back, the biggest change in me this year is learning restraint. I used to believe in addition — do more, add more. What actually made me steadier was subtraction.
Some notes on what changed:
Part 1: Restraint in action — making the complex simple
Restrain the urge to talk. Brevity signals respect, power, and intelligence. The length of a message is usually inversely proportional to the clarity of the thinking behind it. Holding back the urge to explain, and saving the other person’s attention, is a deep form of respect.
Restrain the social surface area. Social value follows a power law. More deep 1:1 conversations, a much smaller social footprint — reaching what matters in a quiet conversation beats mechanically trading business cards.
Restrain agreeableness. A position is the foundation of being distinguishable. A person with no edges has no fulcrum; a clear, firm stance is itself a scarce resource.
Restrain analysis. Trial and error comes first. Better to hit a wall in action than to keep running simulations in my head. Real feedback beats imagined plans; the answers that come from acting are more reliable than the ones that come from analyzing.
Restrain addition. Making fewer mistakes is doing the right thing.
Part 2: Restraint at the core — from seeking outside to searching inside
Restrain the hunger for approval. Look for boosters instead. Energy is finite — don’t spend it proving yourself to people who don’t appreciate you. Find the ones who are naturally inclined to believe in you and back you.
Restrain the transactional itch. Hold back the eagerness to close. The calm that comes from asking out of genuine curiosity is what determines presence — and the impression you leave.
Restrain the rush. Patience is the highest form of leverage. Patience, patience, patience! Go slower, give time some room, let things happen on their own.
Restrain opportunism. Integrity and reputation compound over the long run. Hold back the greed for short-term marginal gains; do what you said you would do. The ability to close every loop — everything delivered, everything accounted for — is the bedrock under any asset of trust.
Restrain self-erosion. A solid core is the base of all growth. Value what you are, and hold down the subconscious “I’m not as good as them.” If the core logic fails, no amount of external optimization produces positive output.
Part 3: How I want to live with myself in 2026
Try to think bolder. I’ve realized my thinking has been too narrow to support decisions with long-term meaning. Bold in vision, restrained in action — that’s how I intend to break path dependence.
Cure the fear of missing out. Anxiety usually comes from a shortage of options. Build confidence by widening the option set; but once the choice is made, restrain the greed and stop looking back.
Spend saturation-level time on the big variables. Stop agonizing over trivia. Where to live, who to be with, what work to do — these three questions deserve the most generous thinking time I have.
Cut out the gray zone completely. This is my biggest regret of 2025. Full focus when working, full disconnection when resting — no more of that viscous, low-efficiency in-between.
Internalize the scoreboard. Filter out the environmental noise and the pointless comparison. Return to my own standards; take back the authority to judge.
In 2026, inside these clear boundaries, I hope to quietly do a few things I actually find meaningful.